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2010 Reflections

I have kind of put off my new years reflections and goal setting this year. But, I definitely don’t want to let too much time go by without recording some of these thoughts, because 2010 was a life changing year for  me. I’d say the theme of 2010 was redefining myself and I hope the theme of 2011 is to push harder, and amplify these changes.

The end of 2009 was a pretty dark one for me. I’d moved to C-ville and had a lot of trouble finding close friendships like the ones I had in my sorority at Penn. I mean, I know finding a community takes time, but it took even longer than I had imagined. I felt all I really had going on was an awesome roommate that I secretly pined for. And, even that was slowly getting toxic as the weeks went on. I had a lot of freak accidents (concussion) and serious illnesses (chronic bronchitis and went to the ER again for a bad case of strep). Things were dark and I kind of just holed away in my room.

The beginning of 2010 was the catalyst I needed. I saw 2010 as this perfect new beginning. I remember smiling as I put my blank calendar up on the wall. I was going to work harder at getting out, trying new things and exploring, even if I was alone doing it. I started a running program, went to matinée movie screenings on the weekends, went to yoga class, studied in coffee shops, etc. Just being around people made a huge difference, even if they weren’t my friends really. And gradually over the beginning of the year things fell into place. I met a great community of grad students, joined a church group, and tried out a bunch of other new activities, some of which have sticked (running, biking, swimming) and some…well not so much (ultimate, kickball). The fitness and health changes just made me a more confident person that could fix (or handle) all the rest.

I say these things not to make you feel bad, but to get a hint of just how much this year really has meant to me, and how much my friends in c-ville mean to me. I was in a dark place and I am thankful every day to be where I am today.

Even so, I learned a lot in 2010. I learned the perils of love triangles, toxic and codependent relationships, getting attached to things that aren’t real, and again how impossible it is to stay friends with someone you once had feelings for. I learned that usually it works out for the best in the long run even when you don’t get what you want. I learned I could make smart last minute life or death decisions and handle adult stuff during my car accident. I’ve learned that I have amazing friends and everything I need for when I get into scrapes. I have friends who will rush to the scene after a car accident, spend half the day helping me fix a dead battery in my car, listen to me talk for hours about the same drama, pray for me, walk to my house to talk at ungodly hours when things go bad, drive me to the store when I don’t have my car for a month, and make me a Hannah Montana skirt for Halloween. And I hope I can be that friend in return.

At the beginning of 2010 I was doubting all my decisions that led me to C-ville and UVa and by the end I knew I was in the right place. That has been a great comfort to me.

So, last post I described my achievements this past year and today I documented what this past year meant to me. Next up (hopefully tomorrow) my goals for 2011 and some slight changes in focus for this blog.

Peace,

Karen

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